An Ode to MRSA

Who spread MRSA
Why and what's the reason today

"Don't blame me" chimed Tony Blair
Who denied it all with his usual flair
"We've put in the cash, give me a break
My political history won't be at stake"

Find a doctor we can get onside
Whispered Patsy with a smile so snide
"Blame us blame us" said Joplin with glee
"We earn to much and I feel guilty"

Underplay it all sigh the management
In the end we're all crooked & bent
Make them wash their hands & give them soap
It's the only way out of this tight rope

The relatives scream "the nurses, blame them"
with an ignorant rage; dripping phlegm
"I once saw one walk past the sink"
"I did that too. I did not think"

"We sacked the cleaners" cried the backabench MP
Before the Whip's deathstare made him flee
"Don't speak out. I'll end your career"
"Remember the rent boy, only last year"

Come speak to us spout the BMA
We've always got something pompous to say
We're a trade union, that may be true
but useless vacillation is what we do

Get Tony out, groan the old Tories
We're sick of the lies. sick of the stories
The backbiting starts on the hour.
We just want to get back in power

The reasons from the micrbiology bore
Were drowned out in a global snore
"I can't quite put it in a soundbite
I've never been good at talikg shite"

With threatening tones claim the GMC
We'll find a martyr; we'll do it for free
It's the doctors not the system yawps Graeme Catto
With a bulging head like a sweaty tomato

Hear my news cried the journalists
as they publish many misleading lists
"We've been writing truth since the time of papyrus"
Shame they still call the thing a bloody virus

Blame the NHS say Milliband & Mandy
If we sell it off it'll all be dandy
Fear not my friend, he's what we'll do
Bury it all whence come the bird flu
The plan's so great it cannot fail
The foreign virus'll get us out of jail.

Who spread MRSA
Why and what's the reason today.


Dr Rant would like to thank the original author of this Ode, first posted on the doctors-only discussion forum DNUK earlier this year