Urgent! I need to see a GP that knows me at 7pm tonight!

Although GP patients surveys show 85-97% satisfaction with opening hours, apparently -from reading the comments sections on Dr Rant - some people are angry because they can't see their own personal GP that knows them at any time of day or night.

Perhaps I'm misreading things, but this looks like a variation on the old 'I can't see my GP for two weeks' chestnut from patients who have been offered a same day appointment with another GP for the same day, but the patient has insisted on waiting for their GP to come back from two weeks holiday.

Let's just look at how ridiculous a 'complaint' this is. (And it really is a very, very, fucking ridiculous complaint!).

1. To achieve this, every GP in the practice would need to be available 24 hours a day.

2. No GP would never be able to take a holiday. Or even go for a shit, in case the patients popped in and had to wait more than 5 minutes to be seen.

3. No GP would be unable to attend any training courses (unless they were done in-house at the surgery while they waited to see if Janet Fuckwit or one of her selfish pals was going to phone for an urgent appointment).

4. No GP would never be able to get pregnant.

5. All GPs would need to work 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Let's just re-introduce household slavery and be done with it. Every house in the UK should get their own personal live-in GP - available 24 hours a day, no condition too trivial.

Of course, with average house occupancy at 0.8 just now, we'd need to train 70 million GPs to meet demand and expectation. Perhaps some households would be willing to share?