Crockard : "I blame everyone else"

Dr Rant taken it upon himself to completely murder this piece in Hospital Doctor this week about our old friend, Professor Alan Crockard, erstwhile chief apologist for murdering Modernising Medical Careers. This is by no means an indictment of the original piece, just it's subject:

***PUERILE PARODY ALERT***MAY CONTAIN TRACES OF NUTS***

The former national director of Modernising Medical Careers (MMC) has denied responsibility for the shitting his own pants, pinning the blame instead on the Government and doctors.

In his written evidence to the Health Select Committee inquiry into pant-shitting, Prof Alan Crockard, who resigned in March, claims that the DoH repeatedly undermined the authority of his anal sphincter.

He alleges his anal tone was 'reduced' from late 2005 and says that politicians and senior DoH officials did not heed warnings issued by the team about problems with his arsehole.

Moreover, Prof Crockard says that the disastrous leakage was not co-ordinated by his rectum, but developed in the DoH's workforce directorate under a separate senior officer.

The former director also blames the profession for not giving his ring-piece sufficient backing. According to Prof Crockard, the team had proposed a number of alternative bowel-motions, similar to those now in the Tooke review, but received 'little support from the profession to consider an alternative defaecation'.

Okay. Maybe this isn't the exact article. Maybe the article wasn't about Crockard shitting his pants.

But consider this - Dr Rant has replaced only twenty words in the above article. When you throw your toys out of your pram in public, you end up looking like an incontinent, whining toddler. In fact, you rather end up looking like one who has just shat their pants.

DISCLAIMER: The Dr Rant contains some of the victims of MMC. People like Crockard pushed ahead despite years of warnings about the inevitable  consequences. Sometimes sensible satire seems futile.