Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The Tethered Goat


Well now we know exactly what Alan Johnson thinks of Lord Darzi, a key part of Gordon Has-Bean’s “Government of all the Talents” (GOAT)

“Some went off message and had to be reprimanded.” Johnson says: "We don't have a goat problem in this department. Our goat is tethered."

Now I don’t know about you but I suspect describing a consultant general surgeon as “a tethered goat” is hardly a tactful move. Of all doctors consultant surgeons are rebellious, rambunctious, and retain their grasp of the vernacular. They are likely to threaten immediate orchidectomy to anyone who doubts their masculinity…

I hope Sir Ara Darzi is not a eunuch, and has not lost his grasp of the vernacular. His predecessor Sir Lancelot Spratt always said that, “a successful surgeon must have the eye of a hawk, the heart of a lion and the hands of a lady.” They still do.

And I wonder where Alan Johnson’s testicles will end up. They’d be quite a coup for the collection of the Hunterian Museum at the Royal College of Surgeons. Better that than Sir Ara ending up as the scapegoat.

11 comments:

Mr Salmon said...

“a successful surgeon must have the eye of a hawk, the heart of a lion and the hands of a lady.”

And usually the temper of a hungover bear with throbbing haemorroids. If I was Darsehole, I'd deck Johnson. Except, like most doctors, he doesn't know what the invisible postman looks like.

Jimbo said...

I'm surprised. Didn't know Postman Pat could speak.

Dr Sharon Mengele said...
This post has been removed by the author.
Dr Sharon Mengele said...

Mr Salmon - you are exposed. It is spelled haemorrhoids, as any real surgeon would know.

January 22, 2008

Anonymous said...

I'm a real surgeon and I can't spell emmaroydz either

Anonymous said...

other things I can't spell include amytriptyline and sphygnonamometer

Dr Sharon Mengele said...

That just proves you're dyslexic. It doesn't prove you're a sturgeon

Dr Blue said...

I'm more of a fishician myself.

And I'm referring Hugh Janus and Frank Malaena for surgical opinions

Mr Salmon said...

Haemorrhoids, haemorroids, I really don't care. As far as I'm concerned, you can shove them up your arse.

Dr Blue said...

It's famous that Scotsmen are like Haemorrhoids.

Applying this to Scots politicians:-

Some stay up and bleed the country dry.
Some come down, ruin the country, and then go back up.
Some come down, ruin the country, and stay down.

Gordon Brown is a sore haemorrhoid at present, probably with perianal dermatitis as his cabinet, and a perianal haematoma of a budget deficit. Yes he's a right pain in the arse.

Anonymous said...

Dr Blue you're a genuis.