The Tethered Goat

Well now we know exactly what Alan Johnson thinks of Lord Darzi, a key part of Gordon Has-Bean’s “Government of all the Talents” (GOAT)

“Some went off message and had to be reprimanded.” Johnson says: "We don't have a goat problem in this department. Our goat is tethered."

Now I don’t know about you but I suspect describing a consultant general surgeon as “a tethered goat” is hardly a tactful move. Of all doctors consultant surgeons are rebellious, rambunctious, and retain their grasp of the vernacular. They are likely to threaten immediate orchidectomy to anyone who doubts their masculinity…

I hope Sir Ara Darzi is not a eunuch, and has not lost his grasp of the vernacular. His predecessor Sir Lancelot Spratt always said that, “a successful surgeon must have the eye of a hawk, the heart of a lion and the hands of a lady.” They still do.

And I wonder where Alan Johnson’s testicles will end up. They’d be quite a coup for the collection of the Hunterian Museum at the Royal College of Surgeons. Better that than Sir Ara ending up as the scapegoat.