Common Sense Centred Medicine

The Dr Rant Foundation is please to announce the imminent publication of its seminal report on guidance to the medical profession entitled:

'Common Sense Centered, Reality Based, Organ Grinder Delivered Medicine.'

This new doctrine is designed to supercede and consolidate the recent splurge of dogma driven Grandmaternal Egg-sucking guidance dictats from on high such as 'Evidence Based Medicine', 'Patient Centered Practice', 'Reflective Practice' 'The Duties of a Doctor' and 'Good Medical Practice'. Furthermore, it is anticipated that interested parties will be able to read it without becoming comatose through boredom or contemplate self harm half way through the second paragraph.

The authors note with dismay the tendency for these earlier attempts at guiding doctors to become subject to high-jacking by fundamentalists who seek to push their individual interpretation of the texts in a pseudoreligious manner. Specific concerns were raised about self-flagellating 'Reflective Practitioners' who seek constant criticism in their quest for enlightenment, and 'Evidence-Based Ayatollahs' who haven't yet worked out the difference between failing to prove that something does work, and having proof that it doesn't.

Potential readers can also rest assured that neither Sir Liam Donaldson nor Dame Carol Black have had anything whatsoever to do with its inception, and we can categorically deny that they were consulted at any point during the process leading to publication. The DRF hope that guidance created with reference to doctors who actually see patients will be sufficiently uncommon to prick the enthusiasm of our colleagues at large.

The lead Author Dr Francis X Rant, a common or garden variety type General Practitioner and social and golf secretary of the Rantingshire Division of the BMA, describes the overriding aim of the report as "Stating the bleeding obvious as clearly and concisely as possible so we can all get down the pub".

The key points outlined within the report are:

1. The patient is your first concern, not the electability of whichever shower of shite is in government, nor the knighthoods of the upper echelons of the medical establishment.

2. Try to imagine that the patient is a member of your own family - would you treat them differently if they were?

3. Try to consider the possibility, no matter how remote, that you might not be right.

4. None of the World's major religions believe that God is a doctor. They may have a point.

5. You don't have to take any crap from anyone. Self-respect and dignity are also important for doctors as well as patients. No one is right all the time, and few people are wrong all the time.

6. If you are not very good at something then don't confuse the words 'practice' and 'practice'. Ask someone who is competent to help or take over.

7. It is both your right and your responsibility to enjoy your job. If you do not enjoy your work, your job is either wrong for you, or you're wrong for your job. You can't do your best at something for 30 years otherwise, and that's not fair on anyone, least of all you.

8. You do not have the option to 'not do politics'. Your ability to care for patients is a pure function of politics, and it is your duty to understand the wider issues concerning your practice, to form an opinion and act accordingly.

(Note to Editors - The Dr Rant Foundation is a not for profit think tank that aims to improve patient care and maintain the sanity of doctors though the employment of invective, bile, sarcasm and cathartic apoplexy via the medium of the blogosphere.)