Why can't I see the fucking stock market at the weekend?

It's 4.31pm Piers: Fuck the Proles - Time for a Flaming Ferrari!

Dr Rant is a hard working person with an important job. So why is it that I have to take time off during my busy week to watch the banks lose all of their share value?

Does the market not have any idea how important my time is? What - exactly - are those red-braces beclothed bastards doing all weekend? I know they used to sit and count all the money they had made, but times have changed and I think that the City needs to change too.

I want to watch the world burn at a time that suits me, not just 9 to 5 on weekdays.

I'm sitting here bored fuckless waiting for the markets to open on Monday morning and the carnage to start again. By which time I'll be seeing patients, which is no fucking use to me.

I mean, it's not as if I'm going to be spending lots of free time in a happy retirement any time soon, is it?

I suppose I'll just have to pop down to my local polyclinic to see some random doctor nurse* about some minor problem to pass the time.

At least the NHS is still a capitalist bastard organisation. The so-called free market could learn a thing or two from Lord Khazi, I can tell you.

Thank fuck for markets in other time zones, otherwise I'd probably have ended up spending quality time with my spouse and children and I wouldn't be the divorced, alcoholic, bitter, sad bastard that a life spent in general practice has made me.

[*Edited for metropolitan realism - Ed]