Top Tips For Patients: 1

"I've got this terrible cough doctor"

If you have had cold symptoms for the past 24 hours, consistent with a trivial self-limiting viral illness a.k.a 'a bit of a sniffle', why not pop along to your GP having declared yourself to the receptionist as 'an emergency'?

For added measure, why not dress up in at least 9 layers of outer garments, and be sure not to remove any of them before you enter the doctor's room? You may then wish to excersise to your option to appear 'surprised' or 'put out' when the doctor decides he might as well listen to your chest with his stethoscope and asks you to take some of your clothes off.

This advice applies to the mole on your back (that's been there 20 years) that you want the doctor to have a look 'while you're there', but be sure to remember to put all your clothes back on before bring the mole into the consultation.

Advanced patient practioners may then wish to complain that the doctor is running 15 minutes late after 3 hours of morning surgery.